US Adoptions Get Easier

It's a problem the nation's adoption agencies haven't seen in 30 years: "We desperately need couples who want to adopt babies in the U.S.," says Sue Will, maternity-services coordinator at Lutheran Social Services of Illinois, one of the state's largest social-services agencies.

The organization's plight reflects a remarkable shift in the adoption world. Some agencies say it is becoming considerably easier for some couples to adopt a healthy infant born in the U.S. While there still are challenges, the pool of healthy infants available for adoption appears to be experiencing an uptick in some parts of the country.

'OPEN ADOPTION' RESOURCES - See information on adoption, particularly open adoption, in which the adopting parents and the biological parents maintain contact.

The key: the growing interest in so-called open adoptions, in which birth parents and adoptive parents exchange contact information and often stay in touch with one another. Many adoption agencies report that open adoption is being embraced by pregnant women who previously might have been reluctant to consider giving up a baby if it meant no chance of contact later in life.

The open-adoption movement also is splitting the ranks of adoptive parents. Many experts believe adoptive families who are willing to keep birth parents informed of a child's progress have a significant leg up in getting a baby, with openness trumping other factors such as age. While some practitioners say couples hoping to adopt in their late 40s are at a disadvantage, a willingness to stay in contact with birth parents is a far more important variable.

Not only do couples willing to go the open-adoption route tend to find a child quicker, but in some cases they also have a choice of several prospective birth mothers. "I've had families with as few as three choices, and as many as 15," says Ellen Roseman, a San Anselmo, Calif., open-adoption facilitator.

Practitioners in the San Francisco Bay area believe open adoption is part of the reason gay couples often are picked for adoption more quickly than heterosexual couples. Agencies there say gay couples often are more willing to develop a relationship with the child's biological parents.

While there are no national statistics on private, domestic infant-adoption rates, some agencies specializing in open adoption are reporting a considerable rise in activity. Independent Adoption Center, a Pleasant Hill, Calif., open-adoption-only agency, says its placements have increased about 8% in the past five years. Lutheran Social Services, the Illinois agency, says it did a couple dozen placements annually during the 1990s. But the agency -- which recently ran an ad promoting its open-adoption policy -- has fielded 60 inquiries from potential birth parents during the past two months alone.

Some adoption experts -- including Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute in New York City and Wright Walling, president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys -- say they too are seeing an increase in the availability of U.S.-born babies for adoption.

For decades, infant adoptions were on the decline. The introduction of the birth-control pill and the legalization of abortion sharply reduced the number of unwanted pregnancies, while the societal stigma attached to unwed motherhood declined as well, leading many women to raise their own children. According to the National Center for State Courts, the percentage of domestic adoptions (excluding those from the public welfare system) fell to 46% of the total 127,000 adoptions in 2001 (the most recent numbers available), from 77% in 1992. Much of the slack was taken up by the growth of international adoptions.

Open adoption appears to be changing that picture in the case of at least some agencies, facilitators and adoption attorneys -- an increasing number of which are offering birth mothers far more say in the adoption process. Often, that even includes the leading role in choosing the adoptive family. By contrast, almost all adoptions were handled confidentially in the past: Neither the birth mother nor the adoptive parents knew anything about the other party.

Open adoption is catching on particularly fast in the Midwest and Western parts of the country. It is less common in much of the East Coast and parts of the South. Mr. Walling of the attorneys' association estimates 80% of domestic adoptions in Minnesota are open adoptions. Today, 18 states have made open arrangements legally enforceable.

The main advantage to adopting domestically is age: it is the primary way parents can secure a child at birth. Internationally, most children are adopted when they are at least a few months old if not older. Additionally, parents adopting in the U.S. have access to more information about the birth parents' medical history, health and lifestyle. Contrary to popular myth, most babies available for private adoption in the U.S. are Caucasian -- not because that is what families want, Mr. Pertman explains, but because "very very few children of color are placed outside of their families."

In January, just 2� weeks after he and his partner started their adoption search in earnest, Brian Espinoza got a call from a young woman considering giving up her as-yet unborn child for adoption. He and his partner, Ivan Serdar, traveled to meet the woman and her boyfriend, and "had a great time, playing Scrabble, laughing, hanging out," Mr. Espinoza says. "We connected with them instantly," he recalls.

He later received two calls from other birth mothers. Three months ago, Mr. Espinoza and Mr. Serdar adopted Amelia -- born to the first woman they met.

Not everybody is comfortable with open adoption, of course. Mr. Pertman of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute says that while 90% of birth parents want to know about their children after adoption, a survey by his group found that 82% of Americans say their biggest concern about adoption is the birth parent returning to reclaim their biological child. State laws make it next to impossible for efforts like this to succeed, but a few highly publicized cases have caused families to be wary of biological parents.

Adoption practitioners say today's prospective birth mothers are older and increasingly reluctant to give up a baby up if they can't know where the child is going. For instance, when Jennifer Budz found out she had an unplanned pregnancy, she was separated from her husband, raising two small girls and in financial trouble. She says she couldn't have done a closed adoption, however: "I wouldn't have felt secure enough."

Ms. Budz, of Vernon, N.J., gave her son up for adoption to a couple who stays in regular touch. Today, she says she proudly displays her son's pictures on her refrigerator, and visits with him and his family periodically. "I've spoken to birth mothers who gave up their child 20 years ago, and I don't relate to all that grief and loss," she says.

One of the most obvious downsides to open adoption is the process. After months of work, usually involving criminal background checks and gathering references, interested families must write to birth mothers explaining why they would be good adoptive parents. Then, they wait to be chosen -- a wait that can last anywhere from a few days to a few years. It's "like being the girl at the junior high school dance wondering if she'll be picked" says Leslie Bandle, a new adoptive mother.

Once picked, the two sides communicate and decide whether it is a match. Often they each will write up an agreement stipulating how often they might make contact. While arrangements vary widely, they might involve sending an e-mail once a month and a once-a-year visit.

The alternative for many is adopting internationally, which offers a more certain guarantee of a child after a certain period of time but carries other risks as well, particularly when adopting from countries with high rates of drug use or which may place babies first in orphanages before sending them on to be adopted.

"It depends on what your brand of risk-taking is," says Gretchen Viederman, director of the domestic adoption program at Spence-Chapin, a nonprofit adoption agency based in New York City.

***SPECIAL NOTE*** We are looking to adopt - please help us spread the word! If you know someone who is considering placing an infant for adoption, please pass on our contact information. Call us anytime toll-free at 1-866-4JN-ROSS (456-7566) or Friends in Adoption at 1-800-844-3630. You can also learn more about us, our families, and our dream of adopting by visiting our website at http://rossandj.home.mindspring.com . Thank you! J. & Ross

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