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Adoption News - 25 -
China Tightens
Adoption Rules, U.S. Agencies Say
[
Gay Couples
sue over Okla. Adoption Law
] [
Children's Groups appeal overturning of Florida Gay Adoption Ban
]
[
Britain
Parliament Oks Gay Adoption
] [
Lesbian Couple from VT Prevail in Adoption Suit
] [
Out of the Shadows ]
[
ACLU
Dismayed by 11th Circuit Appeal Upholding Floridas Anti-Gay Adoption Law
] [
US Adoptions Get Easier ]
[
Supreme
Court Lets Stand Floridas Gay Adoption Ban
] [
Experts Dispute Bush on Gay Adoption Issue
]
[
Adoptees
Deserve Access to Family Health Histories
] [
Committee Defeats Bill to Ban Gays from Adoption
]
[
Civil
Debate Over Civil Union ]
[ Study
Says Foreign Children Adapt Well
] [
Custody After Civil Union Pits States and Judges
]
[
Birth
Mothers vs Egg Donor Decision Upheld
] [
Hello I'm Your Sister - Our Father is Donor 150
]
[
Lund Family
Center Capital Campaign Remarks
] [
Unwed Fathers Fight for Babies Placed for Adoption by Mothers
]
[
Adoption
Institute Supports Gay Parents
] [
Gays See Shift in Momentum Toward Acceptance in Alabama
]
[
Judge
Rejects Law on Gay Adoptions
] [
Perdue vs Mississippi ] [
Gay
Marriage Losing Punch as Ballot Issue
]
[
Gay Couple
Awaits Adoption Ruling from US Court
] [
China Tightens Adoption Rules, U.S. Agencies Say
]
[
A Taste of
US Family Life, But Adoption in Limbo
] [
Gay Couple Win Lawsuit Against Adoption Web Site in Arizona...
]
[
Significant
Victory for Same Sex Couples in Oklahoma
] [
Report Urges States To Open Adoptee Records for Adults
]
[
State Court
Recognizes Gay Marriage From Elsewhere
] [
Miami Judge Rules Against Florida Gay Adoption Ban
]
[
House
Passes Bill Restricting Birth Certificates For Adoptions By Unmarried Couples
]

A Taste of U.S. Family Life, but
Adoption in Limbo
By
Jane
Gross
January 13, 2007
TERRYVILLE, Conn. — During the two
weeks that Marino and Debbie Prozzo
welcomed a Ukrainian orphan in their
home, they fell head over heels for
a 7-year-old child they may never be
able to adopt.
While
the Prozzos were giving Alona
Malyovana her first bubble bath,
teaching her to use the remote
control, and buying her a pink
velvet dress trimmed in bunny fur,
the chaotic system of adoption in
Ukraine was growing more chaotic.
The
director of Ukraine’s new Department
for Adoptions resigned, leaving the
fate of the nation’s 90,000 orphans
in limbo. A new application process
required foreign families to quickly
update security clearances and other
time-sensitive information.
Prospective parents anxiously
scanned the State Department’s Web
site and bulletins from the embassy
in Kiev for clarification of rules
and rumors.
Hosting
programs, like the one that brought
Alona to an American family this
Christmas, showcase older children,
generally from orphanages in former
Soviet bloc nations. The programs
have long been hailed as an
effective marketing tool by adoption
experts, who say 8 of 10 families
would not adopt these children
without a trial run.
In the
largely unregulated world of
international adoptions, these
programs often lead to
happily-ever-after, but sometimes
end painfully. Ukraine and Russia
place formidable obstacles in the
path of parents, among them
inaccurate information about
children’s availability and health
status. Multiple families can wind
up competing for the same child. And
children themselves know they are
auditioning for what the industry
calls their “forever families.” Then
there is an entrenched system of
favors — requests for cash or gifts
from facilitators, translators,
judges and others who handle the
mechanics of adoption overseas.
Conditions in both countries have
grown so unsettled, some agencies
have suspended hosting programs, and
the debate is growing about the
ratio of risk to reward. Do the many
success stories for older orphans
make up for the heartbreak when
adoption is thwarted?
The
Prozzos had been deceived before by
an intermediary who showed them a
photograph of an adorable child they
later learned was not available. So
their guard was up before Alona’s
visit in December.
“We
won’t let this child call us ‘mama’
or ‘papa’ because we aren’t,” Mr.
Prozzo said. But Alona’s visit had
barely begun when she jumped into
his outstretched arms and called him
“papa.”
“Now
what?” Mr. Prozzo said, melting.
“Now what?”
The
quandary for agencies in the United
States these days is how to balance
optimism and pessimism when the
prospect of a successful adoption is
anyone’s guess. “In an ideal world
we wouldn’t be doing it this way,”
said Adam Pertman, executive
director of the Evan B. Donaldson
Adoption Institute, a research
organization. “But we haven’t come
up with a better solution.”
The fee
for the two-week hosting visits,
organized by adoption agencies and
humanitarian organizations, is
$2,500 per child, which includes
travel, bilingual escorts and a
sizable donation back to the
orphanages (subsequent adoption
costs average $25,000).
Often,
the formal disclaimers and informal
predictions by program directors
seem at odds. Frontier Horizon, the
humanitarian agency that last month
brought over 50 orphans, Alona among
them, states unambiguously in its
printed materials that it is “a
travel program not an adoption
program.”
But
Vincent Rosini, president of the
organization, says that his group
has been host to 300 Ukrainian
orphans since 2000 and that only
five families have been unable to
adopt the children they wanted. One
hundred of Frontier Horizon’s
children have been successfully
adopted, Mr. Rosini said.
“Is
there a good chance?” Mr. Rosini
asked. “Yes. Is it 100 percent? No.”
Adoption
experts on both sides of the hosting
debate agree that the children know
they are auditioning for adoption,
and that the families quickly grow
attached.
“The
child has raised expectations,
regardless of what they’re told,”
said Judy Stigger, director of
international adoption for the
Cradle, an agency in Evanston, Ill.
“And the parents become more
emotionally invested than they
appreciated because when you hold a
specific child in your arms, your
whole body feels it, responds and
remembers. That child quickly
becomes yours.”
In
countries like Ukraine, it is all
but impossible to manage
expectations. Adoption authorities
insist that families cannot request
children who spent time in their
homes, but rather must come to Kiev,
by invitation, look at pictures and
go to orphanages to meet the
children offered to them.
Both the
Cradle and Maine Adoption Placement
Services, an agency that suspended
its Russian hosting program in 2004,
are known for their excellent
connections in former Soviet bloc
nations and are sometimes hired as
“fixers” by families who went
through other agencies when the
children visited only to find they
could not adopt them.
At MAPS,
Betsy Bewsey, the director of
international adoption, said that
“right now things are as volatile as
I’ve ever seen them.” She cited
stringent regulations in China,
announced last month, which will
complicate adoption in the country,
long considered the “fail-safe”
because of an efficient bureaucracy
and healthy infants. The volatility
in these countries, and especially
the suspension of several hosting
programs from Ukraine and Russia,
has contributed to a dip in overall
international adoptions by
Americans, according to Thomas
DiFilipo, the president of the Joint
Council on International Children’s
Services.
The
high-water mark came in 2004, when
22,884 immigrant visas were issued
to orphans in the process of formal
adoption — more than triple the
number in 1990. In 2006, visas fell
to 20,679. In that two-year span,
visas to children from Ukraine fell
to 460, from 723. Russia’s visas
dropped to 3,706, from 5,865.
Families
like the Prozzos can be easy marks
for scoundrels. Agencies that do
international adoptions need not be
accredited, although that will
change if the United States ratifies
a treaty to regulate intercountry
adoption, expected sometime this
year. More than 300 agencies have
applied. By all accounts, only one
international adoption facilitator
in America has been shut down,
Yunona USA of Napa, Calif., in 2005.
Yunona allegedly defrauded at least
100 would-be adoptive parents of
more than $1.1 million by posting
photos of Russian and Ukrainian
children on its Web site, taking
deposits from families and later
saying the children were not
available. The Prozzos chose a child
from the Yunona Web site but had not
yet paid a deposit when they learned
she was unavailable.
Yunona’s
president, Ivan Jerdev, faces a
$386,000 default civil judgment. He
is believed to have fled to his
native Russia after the police
raided his office in December 2005,
law enforcement officials said. The
Yunona case, which did not involve
hosting programs, led California to
pass the nation’s strictest law
regulating adoption facilitators,
which went into effect on Jan. 1.
In a
complaint against Adopt-A-Miracle,
in Evergreen, Colo., investigated by
the Denver Better Business Bureau,
Lourdes Blanco of Miami said she had
selected a Ukrainian infant off the
agency’s Web site, learned the baby
girl had already been adopted but
was assured she would find a
comparable child if she traveled to
Kiev. Ms. Blanco made two trips, she
said, only to be told there were no
healthy children. The case was
settled when the agency refunded
$10,000 of more than $20,000 in fees
and travel expenses.
In
responding to the bureau,
Adopt-A-Miracle’s executive
director, Charlotte Allen, described
the process as “enormously
challenging” because simple
information about a child’s status
is often unavailable. “It may seem
incredible,” Ms. Allen wrote. “But
this is the way it is.”
Faya
Fromm, 13, formerly of Siberia,
knows well how expectations can be
dashed in an orphanage. Twice, she
was told “we’re sending you to a
family in America who might want to
adopt you.” The first time she was
not chosen for the hosting trip. The
second time she wound up with Linda
Fromm, 56, of Ridgewood, N.J., who
had three grown children from an
early marriage.
When a
summer hosting program ended, Ms.
Fromm “skated around” what to tell
Faya, saying she would “fly like the
birds and swim like the fish to come
visit you.” It took her nine months
to assemble her dossier and take a
second mortgage on her home to pay
for the 2003 adoption. During that
time, Ms. Fromm could not call the
orphanage. But she sent Faya notes
and photo albums, with $5 bills
tucked between the pages.
It was a
long, uncertain wait for the girl,
who described another
disappointment: She was shown to an
Italian family, then told they would
be back for her the next day. Faya
was kept out of school, dressed in
her best clothes and waited in the
director’s office. The family never
returned.
Siberia
at that time encouraged families to
adopt children after a home visit.
Not so Ukraine today. At Faya’s
urging, Ms. Fromm invited Ira and
Olga Chyrkova, 9-year-old twin
girls, to spend the holiday as a
trial run for adoption.
It was
Faya who told the twins her mother’s
plans “She will try to bring you
back next summer,” Faya told them.
“And she’s going to try to adopt
you.”
Then
midway through, Ms. Fromm was
crushed to learn that Olga and Ira
were not cleared for adoption yet.
Their mother had been murdered, but
her death certificate was missing
and necessary to prove the girls’
status as orphans.
Mr.
Rosini did not directly reassure Ms.
Fromm he could pull strings at the
orphanage, but mentioned, in
passing, that the director had
recently asked for a new coat.
Such
requests, Mr. Rosini said, are
common. One orphanage director
threatened to cancel a hosting trip
unless he helped her raise money for
a new health clinic. A Frontier
Horizon family who donated $25,000
is now scheduled to adopt a child
who visited four times. Families
might be asked by an orphanage
director for $400 for a new meat
slicer, Mr. Rosini said, or a
facilitator will tell them that two
weeks’ worth of paperwork could be
expedited in two days if he had a
fax machine. “We’re used to it,” Mr.
Rosini said.
The
children come off the plane with the
clothes on their backs and a small
knapsack. Some, veterans of hosting
programs who had never been chosen,
also arrive with their defenses up.
Twelve-year-old Lesya Otya was slow
to warm to Jeannie Fillatti, 49, of
Avon, Conn., until it was nearly
time to go.
But, in
the car headed to the airport — with
newly pierced ears, her first
brassiere and a ski tag on her parka
from a weekend in Vermont — the girl
buried her head in Ms. Fillatti’s
lap, unconsolable.
A
promise from Ms. Fillatti that Lesya
could return for next summer’s
hosting program was unpersuasive.
“They don’t know what to think, how
to hope, whether to hope,” said Ms.
Fillatti, who had tried before to
bring back a child and been
rebuffed.
When the
time came to pass through the
security doors, Lesya wailed her
protest, in the English she had
recently learned: “No! No! Not yet!”
This was
Alona’s first visit, and with no
history of disappointment, her
departure, with her Christmas bounty
of designer jeans and cowboy boots,
was composed. Mrs. Prozzo, without
eye makeup because she was prepared
for a tearful parting, sent her off
with a kiss and a murmured “I love
you.” She and her husband had plenty
to talk about when they got home.
The
couple — he is a 53-year-old
engineer and she is a 48-year-old
librarian, re-examining in middle
age their decision not to have
children — knew from the start that
Alona might not be available for
adoption or that she might be
snapped up by another family while
they prepared their dossier.
They
vowed that they understood the long
odds. “But that was two weeks ago,”
Mr. Prozzo said after Alona returned
to rural Zaporozhye. “Now it’s a
different story. I love this child.”
And so
he hatched a plan. The Prozzos would
ready themselves to travel to
Ukraine and consider the children
offered. Only then, with great
deference, would he beg officials to
match them with Alona.
“When
I’m sitting in front of the guy,
man-to-man,” Mr. Prozzo said, “I’ll
say, ‘Sir, can you understand this?’
”
Meanwhile, Mr. Prozzo said he had
made a donation to a charity in
Zaporozhye that was raising money
for hospital equipment. Maybe the
donation will improve his adoption
chances. If not, Mr. Prozzo said, at
least it will improve medical care
for the orphans left behind.
To view
this article on the New York Times
website, click here.
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